The people with the most influence do these things differently

There are certain behaviors you see again and again in people who carry unusually high influence…

Despite what social media shows you, most of them have nothing to do with money, title, charisma, or being the loudest person in the room.

In fact, real influence is often about doing less, not more.

The people who draw people towards them tend to do a few things differently:

They don’t rush to fill silence.

Silence makes most people uncomfortable, so they start talking. Heaven forbid we go 5 seconds inside of our own thoughts, am I right?

As a result, most people overexplain more than necessary, effectively negotiate against themselves, and reveal what they’re thinking before they need to (if they need to at all).

Basically, they show their cards far too early because they got nervous

Influential people understand that silence creates space, and the person most comfortable in that space often has the advantage.

Someone once told me: Make your point, and then shut up. The next person who talks loses.

They don’t need everyone to agree with them.

The need for approval is one of the fastest ways to give away influence, and yet, many people do this all day every day as they chase external validation online.

If someone can change your behavior simply by withholding their validation…they have leverage over you.

Strong people listen, consider other perspectives, and then change their minds when (and only if) the evidence calls for it.

But, they don’t abandon themselves or their opinions just to keep other people comfortable.

They don’t over-explain themselves.

There is enormous power in being able to state what you believe, what you want, or what you’ve decided without immediately defending it or trying to convince people of your reasoning.

Confidence is often concise.

Insecurity tends to come with paragraphs upon paragraphs of explanation, and people read it immediately.

They can tolerate someone being disappointed with them.

This one is bigger than it sounds.

A surprising amount of human behavior is driven by one simple fear:

“What if they’re upset with me?”

So, people say yes when they mean no.

They lower their standards.

They accept suboptimal deals or agreements.

They stay quiet when they should speak up for themselves.

They remain in situations or relationships they should have left long ago.

Influential people understand that someone else’s disappointment is not automatically evidence that they’ve done something wrong.

And…they are willing to walk away.

From the deal.

The opportunity.

The approval.

Even *gasp*…the relationship.

I’m not talking about recklessly abandoning everything around you at the first sign of conflict, but a genuine willingness to maintain a healthy standard, and refuse to accept anything beneath it.

Because the person who absolutely must have the outcome is usually the person with the least leverage.

This is where most people misunderstand what power really is.

Power is not controlling other people.

It is becoming increasingly difficult for other people to control.

And once you understand that, you start showing up differently.

You speak differently.

You negotiate differently.

You make decisions differently.

And, very often, people begin responding to you differently too.

- James Michael Sama

P.S.: If you’re looking for a private advisor to help you develop these qualities, let’s talk.